What to Do When your Horse Show Goes Wrong

So you went to the horse show and it sucked.

There are so many variations of “it sucked.” From the very often ugh of, “I didn’t ride as well as I know I could have,” to the defeating, “I thought we did ok but then I got my score,” to the terrible, “I fell off,” to the most heartbreaking of them all: “my horse doesn’t feel right.” 

There are so many variations in between, with so many factors, but these four are all my personal experiences of “the horse show sucked” and I’m a self-described horse show addict. 

So what’s a girl to do? 

1. Take a big gulp of “it’s only a horse show and (hopefully!!) no one died.” Quintessential first world problem (which does NOT mean it doesn’t matter, but it does lend perspective). 
   
   
2. Reflect – what could you have reasonably done differently at that specific show (note that this is different than what you’ll do differently for the next show). This might be as simple as planning your warmup better, being clearer with your coach on what you need from her, or maybe you realize you should have picked different tests.
   
   
3. Regroup – with yourself, with your horse, and with your coach. Let yourself grieve for a bit – you put all your heart into this passion and there’s no shame in being disappointed or sad for a bit. Or maybe you need to forgive yourself if you are beating yourself up. Regrouping with your horse might be time spent hacking or pampering (just be with your horse). Regrouping with your coach is about fleshing out what you think happened, what she thinks happened, and how everyone feels about it. This might also involve your vet, farrier, body worker or saddle fitter, etc. It’s not about blame but about working with your team. 
   
   
4. Decide: is the juice worth the squeeze? Depending on the level of suck, is it worth it for you to show again? It’s totally OK if you don’t want to, or you need a step back. Frankly, no one is paying attention except you. 
   
   
5. If the answer to #4 is yes, then, get a game plan. What homework needs to be done – in and out of the saddle – to *ideally* do “better” next time? First, you need to define what “better” means for you and your horse (this should not be “we get XX% score”). Then you need concrete steps to take: adjust you and your horse’s fitness routine, study the tests and videos from the show and try to understand what the judge meant (yes, she was trying to help you, not deflate you!), do more schooling shows, etc. 
   
   
6. Last but most importantly – part of preparing for next time is not just doing things to perform better. It’s working on your mindset so that when “the horse show sucked” happens again (because, at some point, it will!), you are better prepared to not let it weigh so heavily. This is about working with that big thing between your ears and developing more mental and emotional resilience. Give more space for the love of the opportunity to not only show your horse, but to have a horse in the first place. 

There is no losing, only learning. And it’s at the suckiest of horse shows that we walk away with the most valuable lessons.